Words fail me...

Some of you may or may not know that I contribute to a regional music mag by way of reviewing live gigs, well tonight that is my mission. Normally I'm quite excited, however tonight's gig in question is leaving me with a feeling of nausea as I am being subjected to the performance of one the worst bands in Australian music history. Yes ladies and gentleman I am speaking of Butterfingers. For those of you who have had the pleasure of never hearing their 'music' (I use that term very lightly) I shall enlighten you with 5 reasons they suck.

1- Their song FIGJAM, that's right Fuck I'm Good Just Ask Me.
2-The frontman is a skinny whiteboy who thinks he can rhyme.
3-Their name 'BUTTERFINGERS' WTF?!
4-These lyrics-In my dream I was a cop and I stopped to arrest her Never met a whore more hardcore so I frisked her Steamed up the beemer and needed the demister Hadn't even kissed her but she still let me fist her I let her drive home pissed and said Hasta La Vista baby-Yo Mama
5-It's Aussie hip-hop

So folks the dilemma I am now faced with is how do I come up with 500 words that is reflective of their performance without sounding too harsh? Or more to the point how do I sit through a 1-2 hour show without cutting off my own ears?

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Macca for his willingness to accompany me on what is sure to be an interesting evening. Wish me luck...